[ The hug comes tighter and Nanami knows that Yuji is desperate for the comfort, for the reassurance. That he needs some sort of stability to feel like he's on his own two feet again. So, even with it starting to feel a little too tight, Nanami doesn't push him off or try to loosen the grip. He just pets his hair, holds him tight, makes sure he feels like he has someone to hold onto — that he has Nanami to hold onto.
He wonders slightly if he's enabling Yuji, making him hold onto grief he should let go because of his own inability to let go of Yuji. The question Yuji asks gives him pause because he knows the answer is yes, that he would, that if Yuji needs him to be here he will be here. But he also doesn't want to have Yuji wishing for death just to return to Nanami. Ahhh... what is he supposed to say?
His voice is quiet when he replies, his touch tender as he continues petting Yuji's hair. ]
Itadori-kun. [ A pause. ] ... Yuji.
I cannot promise you anything, but I can tell you my desire is to make sure you're not alone, that I'm here for you. Either here at the hotel or if fate shines upon us, in another life.
Please know I don't intend to leave you. You mean a great deal to me and I want to see you survive and flourish. I want to help you regain your spirit while you're here and see you off eventually with a smile on your face.
[ A squeeze from Nanami then and he sighs, tired. ]
[ If it were a slightly different situation, Yuji would be able to handle things better. He had been able to recover from Shibuya enough to keep fighting; had been able to push beyond the loss of the people he cared about most to keep fighting, had even found the strength to stand up to Sukuna after losing Fushiguro. The problem is that he has too much time to dwell now, feeling as though if he tries to avoid it he will end up with nothing more than an ache in his chest that he can't overcome.
Yuji's soul is unshakable, powerful, something that he can lean back on. But with the knowledge of Gojo-sensei going back to die, and Yuji not being able to warn him, not being strong enough to let him know... There's only so much he can handle before he breaks. In a few days, he'll push the pieces of himself back together, but that's going to take time.
Nanami's words help, as they always do, however, Yuji leaning into the strength of the man in front of him despite how guilty he feels. Nanami should be living in peace, in happiness, not...
... Not having to continue to deal with him. It makes some of his sniffling stop as he tries to push himself together, to stop breaking. He cannot keep burdening Nanami like this. He refuses.
He doesn't break away just yet, though, nodding. ]
Okay.
[ Another sniffle, but quieter, this time, as Yuji tries to reign his emotions in. ]
[ Nanami can't seem to tell how his words land with Yuji lately. The boy bottles up so much that Nanami can only make attempts to soothe him and hope they do what he hopes. He knows it's just Yuji's way of coping, of dealing with the heavy burdens he carries, and so he does not want to push or make Yuji feel like he's burdening Nanami at all by coming to him with this. He's so, so grateful that Yuji would open up to him at all.
He's quiet, petting Yuji's hair and listening to him sniffle for a moment. He wonders if he should remain here, keep Yuji company, or leave him to rest on his own. He thinks the boy needs rest, honestly. He doesn't look like he's been sleeping well. Maybe Nanami can stay until he falls asleep. ]
You're welcome, Itadori-kun. [ . . . ] You should lay down, try and get some rest.
[ Here's the thing: Yuji does not expect Nanami to stay. He does not expect anything other than to be left to curl up in the bed and to cope with his grief all by himself, because that's what he's used to doing these days. When he's been given time to process the hurt and pain he's felt, the only way he has been able to deal with it has been to bury it, to force himself to suffer it and shoulder it until he's able to stand up again.
It feels like the same this time.
Lifting his hand, he rubs at his eyes - red and sore, the crying taking it out of him - before he sighs and gives Nanami an awkward little bow of thanks. ]
[ Nanami is surprised by the dismissal because, well, that wasn't his plan at all. He still plans to stay until Yuji falls asleep but he also worries now that he's be intruding in a way Yuji doesn't want. His mouth pulls into a thin line as he considers it.
Well, he might as well ask, to make sure they're both clear. ]
I was thinking of staying until you fell asleep as I don't want to leave you alone. But if you don't want me to, I can leave now instead.
[ He leaves it open ended from there because he doesn't want to pressure Yuji. It's up to him, if he desires the comfort or not. He just doesn't want him to feel alone in this. ]
[ Yuji... Didn't expect that. He's more accustomed to dealing with this kind of thing alone, because... Well, everyone who would comfort him is long gone, other than Choso, and he's a little overbearing. The idea of Nanami sticking around just to take care of him or make sure he's okay...
It makes his eyes well up again, and he rubs his face furiously. ]
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no subject
He wonders slightly if he's enabling Yuji, making him hold onto grief he should let go because of his own inability to let go of Yuji. The question Yuji asks gives him pause because he knows the answer is yes, that he would, that if Yuji needs him to be here he will be here. But he also doesn't want to have Yuji wishing for death just to return to Nanami. Ahhh... what is he supposed to say?
His voice is quiet when he replies, his touch tender as he continues petting Yuji's hair. ]
Itadori-kun. [ A pause. ] ... Yuji.
I cannot promise you anything, but I can tell you my desire is to make sure you're not alone, that I'm here for you. Either here at the hotel or if fate shines upon us, in another life.
Please know I don't intend to leave you. You mean a great deal to me and I want to see you survive and flourish. I want to help you regain your spirit while you're here and see you off eventually with a smile on your face.
[ A squeeze from Nanami then and he sighs, tired. ]
... Okay?
no subject
Yuji's soul is unshakable, powerful, something that he can lean back on. But with the knowledge of Gojo-sensei going back to die, and Yuji not being able to warn him, not being strong enough to let him know... There's only so much he can handle before he breaks. In a few days, he'll push the pieces of himself back together, but that's going to take time.
Nanami's words help, as they always do, however, Yuji leaning into the strength of the man in front of him despite how guilty he feels. Nanami should be living in peace, in happiness, not...
... Not having to continue to deal with him. It makes some of his sniffling stop as he tries to push himself together, to stop breaking. He cannot keep burdening Nanami like this. He refuses.
He doesn't break away just yet, though, nodding. ]
Okay.
[ Another sniffle, but quieter, this time, as Yuji tries to reign his emotions in. ]
Thank you, Nanamin.
no subject
He's quiet, petting Yuji's hair and listening to him sniffle for a moment. He wonders if he should remain here, keep Yuji company, or leave him to rest on his own. He thinks the boy needs rest, honestly. He doesn't look like he's been sleeping well. Maybe Nanami can stay until he falls asleep. ]
You're welcome, Itadori-kun. [ . . . ] You should lay down, try and get some rest.
no subject
[ Here's the thing: Yuji does not expect Nanami to stay. He does not expect anything other than to be left to curl up in the bed and to cope with his grief all by himself, because that's what he's used to doing these days. When he's been given time to process the hurt and pain he's felt, the only way he has been able to deal with it has been to bury it, to force himself to suffer it and shoulder it until he's able to stand up again.
It feels like the same this time.
Lifting his hand, he rubs at his eyes - red and sore, the crying taking it out of him - before he sighs and gives Nanami an awkward little bow of thanks. ]
Thank you for coming to see me.
[ As if it's a dismissal! ]
no subject
Well, he might as well ask, to make sure they're both clear. ]
I was thinking of staying until you fell asleep as I don't want to leave you alone. But if you don't want me to, I can leave now instead.
[ He leaves it open ended from there because he doesn't want to pressure Yuji. It's up to him, if he desires the comfort or not. He just doesn't want him to feel alone in this. ]
no subject
[ Yuji... Didn't expect that. He's more accustomed to dealing with this kind of thing alone, because... Well, everyone who would comfort him is long gone, other than Choso, and he's a little overbearing. The idea of Nanami sticking around just to take care of him or make sure he's okay...
It makes his eyes well up again, and he rubs his face furiously. ]
... Yeah, you can stay.